Cry of the Wolf
by Okaishi
Summary: Follows Remus and Sirius' relationship. Remus is in love with Sirius, who is clueless, and Remus' wolf state is keen to claim his mate. SLASH warning. Fic Complete.
1. Chapter One: Not Your Average Schoolboy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters or settings, or anything else that you may recognize from the books. If I did, I wouldn't be posting fanfictions, duh.

Rating: It's PG for now, but I'll warn you in advance that things will become closer to NC17 within a few chapters. I promise it'll be a lot more tasteful than what some people post, but if that still bothers you, please don't read. This fanfic contains SLASH. Warning warning warning.

Author's Notes: I've become obsessed with slash fics of Sirius and Remus, so I decided to write one of my own. This story will not have any real plot other than the angsting of Remus and whatnot. There will be juicy stuff eventually. I'm _dying_ to write a gratuitous sex scene; although let me say that I plan on making it a tasteful gratuitous sex scene. XP Reviews very much welcome! Please tell me what you think, and whether or not I'm doing anything wrong!

**Chapter One – Not Your Average Schoolboy  
**  
The train began to pull away from the station. Remus Lupin stood at the window of the compartment he'd claimed as the Hogwarts Express bore him on the trip back to school. Many families stood waving at their children from the platform, but no one waved to Remus. He had no family, as far as he knew. Circumstances had stolen them away from him. As the platform disappeared from sight, the sandy-haired boy took a seat and sighed contentedly. It was good to be going back to school where he could feel like he belonged, where he had friends.  
  
A loud bang erupted near the front of the train, followed almost immediately by an ear-splitting shriek and the sound of running feet. Remus rolled his eyes but couldn't help smiling at the same time. Mere moments later, three other boys came bursting into the compartment, winded and roaring with laughter.  
  
The first was James Potter, a bespectacled boy with deep hazel eyes and a mop of shaggy black hair that refused to stay in one place. Next came Peter Pettigrew, a somewhat pudgy boy with blond hair and blue eyes, whose sole purpose in life seemed to be to idolize James. The last to come through the door was Sirius Black.  
  
Remus' breath caught in his throat.  
  
If it was possible, Sirius seemed to have become even more handsome over the summer. His raven-black hair feel perfectly straight, hanging just below his earlobes with an elegance that James could never have hoped to accomplish. He'd grown a little over the summer, officially making him the tallest of the friends, and the most muscular – although he was still rather lean. The most striking features, however, were his smoky, silvery- grey eyes, which were the object of many girls' affections.....and at least one boy's.  
  
The three friends were laughing breathlessly as they took their seats and slammed the compartment door closed.  
  
"Ah Rem!" Sirius practically choked on his own laughter as he plunked himself down next to Remus, "You should have seen the look on their faces!"  
  
"Especially Snivellus," added James, snorting, "When his robes went fuchsia I thought his head was going to explode!"  
  
Peter said nothing, but nodded enthusiastically, swiping at tears of mirth as they sprung to his eyes.  
  
"I take it you haven't developed any sense of maturity over the summer then?" Remus' tone was one of gentle teasing; if the other boys ever _did_ decide to grown up, life would become incredibly boring for him.  
  
Sirius looked positively mortified. "M-_maturity_?!" he barked the word and held a hand over his chest as though it had been a dagger through his heart, "Oh! My heart! I think I'm dying!" Next moment he gasped and fell unceremoniously onto Remus' lap, playing dead.  
  
Remus blushed furiously. "Siri, get _off_!" he stammered, shoving at Sirius, who hit the floor with a loud thud.  
  
"Ow!" the raven-haired boy exclaimed, "Rem, what the hell?!"  
  
Remus tried desperately to slow his hammering heart and faked a pained expression. "Really bad bruises on my legs," he lied, "From last full moon."  
  
Sirius' face dropped and for a moment Remus felt a pang of guilt for lying. "Rem, I'm sorry, I didn't think -"  
  
"It's okay," Remus assured his best friend, offering a hand to help him back up, "Just gave me a bit of a start is all."  
  
Sirius nodded and accepted the hand, setting himself back down and turning to talk to James.  
  
Remus sighed inwardly. It hadn't been a complete lie, at least. He had suffered two rather horrible transformations over the summer. Remus Lupin had been a werewolf since his was bitten by one at a very young age. During his first ever transformation, the wolf had stolen away through the night, taking him miles away from his home and family. He'd searched many times, but could not find his home again and no one seemed to be searching for him, and indeed he didn't even remember what or who it was he was looking for. Did he even have a home before the bite? He honestly couldn't remember. At the age of eleven he had been admitted to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry by a most kindly headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. The headmaster had set up certain precautions so that the boy could learn magic alongside his peers, and very few besides the school staff knew of Remus' condition. His friends had learned in their forth year of school, when Sirius had figured it all out. Remus recalled how terrified he'd been that he was going to lose his friends, that they would hate him and persecute him just like the rest of the world. But Sirius and the others had accepted him where so few others had, and he'd felt twice as close to them ever since. Their friendship, however, could not impede the monstrous pain of his transformations, or keep him from hurting himself while he was in wolf form. It was normal, therefore, for Remus' body to be riddled with cuts and bruises after a full moon.  
  
"I'm telling ya, mate, you're grasping at straws," Sirius was saying when Remus popped back into the conversation, "She just _doesn't like you_."  
  
Obviously, Remus thought with a grin, the conversation had made it's way to Lily Evans, James' "true love".  
  
"She's just playing hard to get," James insisted.  
  
"For six years?" pointed out an incredulous Peter, causing Sirius and Lupin to snicker.  
  
"I'm telling you guys," James argued, running a hand through his already- messy hair, "This year I'll have her!"  
  
"You said that last year," snickered Sirius.  
  
"And the year before that," Peter added.  
  
"And, if my memory serves me correctly, the year before that as well," Remus grinned.  
  
"And -"  
  
"Alright, alright, I get it!" shouted James, throwing his arms in the air, "I'm a gigantic failure! Are you all happy?!"  
  
The boys burst into laugher, and after a few moments pouting, James joined them. Remus gazed fondly around the compartment at his friends, his eyes lingering a little longer on Sirius. Yes, it was rather good to be heading back to school.

* * *

"Seventh year at last!" cried Sirius once Professor Dumbledore had finished his start-of-term speech.  
  
"Food at last!" added Pete as the house tables of the Great Hall magically filled for the feast.  
  
"I'm amazed you four managed to make it to seventh year," Lily Evans called from a few seats down.  
  
"Now, now, my dear Ms Evans," James replied, grinning as handsomely as he could manage, "You know how terribly you'd miss me if I were to leave early."  
  
Lily stuck out her tongue, but she was smiling, bright green eyes flashing flirtatiously and silky red hair falling around her shoulders. Remus grinned to himself from his spot across from James. Of the four friends, who called themselves the Marauders, Remus was definitely the most observing. He could easily tell that Lily liked James just as much as James liked Lily, even if neither of them realized it themselves. He suspected that Lily turned down James repeatedly because she had hated him so much during their first few years of school and now found it difficult to realize that her feelings had changed.  
  
"What're you grinning about, Moony?" asked James, noting his friend's smirk.  
  
"Oh nothing," Remus claimed, still grinning, "Nothing at all."  
  
"Liar," Sirius said, and winked at Remus from his set next to James.  
  
Remus struggled for the rest of the meal to control the shade of his face.  
  
Once the start-of-term feast ended, Remus and James (who were prefect and Head Boy, respectively) were obliged to help the newest Gryffindor first- years back to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"See you back at the dorm, then," Sirius jogged off, school robes billowing behind him, followed closely by Peter.  
  
Remus watched Sirius' departure for a few seconds before turning his attention to the task at hand. "First years!" he called down the table, "First years follow us please!"  
  
"Come on, I'm tired," James whined, "Oy! Hurry up you bloody little -" Lily walked by. "- darlings! Come on now, follow us!"  
  
Remus snickered. James stuck out his tongue. A group of pint-sized students gathered around the two lanky seventh-years and together they started off through the school. The first-years oohed and ahhed at the many moving, waving portraits and the tower of staircases that randomly switched places with one another.  
  
"So," James spoke quietly in Remus' ear as they walked, "You gonna tell me who she is this year?"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes. "Prongs, you've been asking me for three years who the girl is, and for three years I've been telling you, _there is no girl_."  
  
It wasn't a lie.  
  
"You're a horrible liar, Moony," smirked James, "It's not like its hard to tell when someone is in love, you know. The blushing _alone_ -"  
  
Remus flushed, a little angrily.  
  
"Ha! See?" James grinned and pointed in triumph, "Just thinking about her makes you blush! Listen Rem, I know there's someone. There's been someone for three years now, and it's starting to drive me nuts. If you tell me, I'll help you get her!"  
  
Remus snorted. "Yes, we've all seen how good you are with the women."  
  
"Hey, hey, that's below the belt."  
  
Remus grinned and turned to the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Chinese Fireball," he gave the password and she swung forward to allow them passage to the Gryffindor common room. It was a large, majestic room whose elegance was lost on the two elder boys, who'd been looking at it for six years already. A lovely fireplace burned against one wall, surrounded by many cushy red and gold armchairs and couches, and the walls of the room were decorated with the red and gold banners of Gryffindor.  
  
"Girls' dormitories up those stairs," Remus explained, pointing, to the first-years, "Boys' there. Your things will have already been brought to your rooms."  
  
James yawned so wide that tears sprung to his eyes and for a moment it looked as though his head was about to disappear. "Come on Rem," he insisted, "They'll figure it out themselves. Time for bed."  
  
The first-years didn't seem to be paying attention anymore anyway, so Remus gave up and followed his messy-haired friend upstairs to their dorm. Sirius and Peter were already up there, rummaging through their things and getting ready for bed.  
  
"No luck yet this year, Padfoot," James sighed to Sirius. Remus rolled his eyes again.  
  
"Oh come on, Moony," Sirius begged, taking up where James had left off moments earlier, "We really want to know!"  
  
"No you don't," Remus grumbled, digging through his trunk absently.  
  
"Ah ha!" Sirius chuckled, "So you admit that there _is_ a girl then?"  
  
"No there i-" Remus stopped and flushed scarlet. He'd looked up from his trunk to find that Sirius had begun to undress for bed and was standing only a few feet away in nothing but his silky black boxer shorts as he untangled his shirt from his arms. If the raven-haired boy hadn't been working out over the summer, then he must have developed and extremely fast metabolism. He had perfect abs, skinny yet muscular arms, and broad, handsome shoulders. His legs were long and powerful-looking, and the waist of his boxers was drooping dangerously low, revealing just a hint of pelvic bone.  
  
"See?" exclaimed James, and Remus quickly averted his hungry eyes, "You're blushing again!"  
  
"Whatever, James," Remus replied, watching Sirius out of the corner of his eye. The other boy was crawling into bed without putting anything else on, which if possible, made Remus blush further. He couldn't help but think about all that soft, bare skin being gently stroked and caressed by the bed sheets... "I'm tired!" the werewolf's voice squeaked and he coughed to lower it, "Think you can leave me alone for one night?"  
  
James crossed his eyes and made a highly immature face before leaping into bed himself.  
  
"They'll get it out of you eventually," Peter smirked over at the flushing boy, "They aren't just going to leave you alone about this."  
  
"They've been tormenting me for three years, Pete," Remus sighed, "I wasn't expecting them to just give up now." He watched Peter climb into bed, and when he was sure none of the other boys were looking anymore, he quickly whipped off his clothes and leapt into his own four poster. "Good night guys."  
  
"'Night."  
  
The lights were put out and Remus was left alone to his thoughts. _Whose the girl?_ he reflected sardonically, _I'm getting so sick of hearing that_. It seemed ironic that James could be so clueless when it came to Lily, but that he'd realized almost immediately when Remus had fallen in love.  
  
The young werewolf had realized in their forth year that he wasn't interested in members of the opposite sex. He'd spent several months in total denial, thinking that the world couldn't possibly hate him enough to make him a _gay_ werewolf. Then things had become a hundred times worse when he'd figured out who he was interested in. This revelation had been followed by several more months of denial. How could he be attracted to Sirius? How could he have these kinds of feelings for his best friend? Not to mention that Sirius Black, the most desired guy in school, was a total player who could have any girl he wanted. _Any GIRL he wants_, Remus' mind hissed as he sank into the usual pit of depression that followed thoughts of his love, _The only way you'd ever have a chance with him is if you somehow became a girl, and even then, why would Sirius want you when there are a million other girls out there that he could have in a second?!_  
  
"Remy?" a quiet voice whispered from the bed to the right.  
  
Remus snapped out of his depressing thoughts and turned his head to the voice. Through the dark night he could make out Sirius' face, shadows playing beautifully across his handsome features. "Yes, Siri?"  
  
Sirius smiled gently through the dark. "Look Rem," he spoke very quietly so that the other boys wouldn't be able to hear, but Remus' wolf senses could pick him up easily, "You've got to be more confident. Whoever the girl is, I'm sure she'd like you if you just gave her the chance to."  
  
Remus made to say something about there being no girl, but Sirius cut him off.  
  
"I refuse to believe that there's no girl, Moony. James is right; it's so obvious that you're in love. If you don't want to tell us who she is, we can't force you, but can I make a suggestion? Tell her. You're a great guy. You're smart and fun and handsome. She'd be nuts not to want you. And you've only got one year of school left to try, and then she might be gone forever."  
  
Every molecule of Remus' body pained for him to scream,_ It's you, Sirius! I'm in love with you!_ but he settled on a slightly choked, "Yeah...thanks Padfoot."  
  
Sirius grinned at his friend and then turned his back and drifted off to sleep. Remus blinked a few times and felt a headache coming on. _Tell you that I'm in love with you?_ he thought sadly, staring at the back of Sirius' head, _Sorry Padfoot...worst advice you've ever given..._

* * *


	2. Chapter Two: Moonlit Dates

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters or settings, or anything else that you may recognize from the books. If I did, I wouldn't be posting fanfictions, duh.

Rating: It's PG for now, but I'll warn you in advance that things will become closer to NC17 within a few chapters. I promise it'll be a lot more tasteful than what some people post, but if that still bothers you, please don't read. This fanfic contains SLASH. Warning warning warning.

Author's Notes: Okay, so here's chappy two for ya'll. If you find any glaring errors, please keep in mind that I wrote this after having been awake for 30-some hours. (So...freakin'....tired....) Normally I write in a scribbler, and then transpose to the computer, but I got so many reviews asking me to hurry and update that I decided to just sit at my computer and spew something out. lol This chapter is mostly building bits of plot and whatnot, but I still like it none-the-less. Hope you enjoy! (Notes to my reviewers at the bottom.)

**Chapter Two – Moonlit Dates  
**  
"McGonagall is evil," announced Sirius, throwing himself at a couch in front of the fire, "Pure evil! How can one professor assign so much homework in one week?"  
  
Peter plopped himself down on the floor next to the fire and moaned his agreement, "Not to mention all the Potions and History of Magic homework. I'll never get it all done!"  
  
"I'll help you, Pete," Remus offered. He eyed the couch where Sirius was sprawled so enticingly, but settled on the armchair across from it. Sirius shot a concerned look at his friend. Remus was looking particularly pale and sickly this day, and had been unable to eat much at dinner, as it was a full moon in a few hours and his body reacted badly to the cycles.  
  
James took the foot or so of couch that Sirius wasn't covering, earning him a quick glance of yearning from Remus. "Oy! Evans!" he called to a group of girls who were heading up to the dormitories, "Go out with me?"  
  
"Nope!" Lily called back cheerily, disappearing up the stairs with her giggling friends.  
  
James crossed his arms and pouted while Sirius chuckled.  
  
"Honestly James," said Remus, shaking his head, "You're not even _trying_ anymore."  
  
James glared and then smiled devilishly. "You think you could do better? Let's see you get a date with your mystery girl, then."  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and rubbed his left temple, ignoring the urge to start an argument about how there was no girl. "How about I meet you halfway?" he suggested, "I'll help you with Lily. How about that?"  
  
All three other Marauders raised their eyebrows.  
  
"Try if you must," said James, a little snidely, "But I don't see what you could do that would make a difference. I have been trying on her for six years, after all."  
  
Remus, taking this as a personal challenge, nodded, grabbed a piece of parchment from his schoolbag, and started scribbling something. The other boys looked on in interest, but none could see the writing from where they were sitting. Remus stopped twice to think, and when he finished, handed the parchment to James. Sirius leaned over James' shoulder and Peter ran around the side of the couch to see as well. As each finished reading, they burst into teary laughter.  
  
"Never knew you were so poetic, Moony," Sirius snickered at the little sonnet Remus had just thought up.  
  
"You've got to be kidding!" James exclaimed, "You expect me to say this?"  
  
"You want my help or not?" Remus glared, "Memorize that while I'm gone." He stood up, ignoring the questioning looks of the others, and exited the Fat Lady's portrait.  
  
As he walked, Remus couldn't help but crack a smile at the other boys' ignorance. Sirius, of course, attracted the ladies with sheer incredible gorgeousness, but besides that none of the other Marauders had any sense at all of the art of wooing and romance. Ironic that he, the one of the group who didn't _want _girls, understood this stuff, or at least believed himself to. He supposed it had something to do with the fact that he'd grown up around a lot of girls at the orphanage. Thinking of this, he couldn't help but wonder, with a grim thought, if that also had something to do with his sexual orientation.  
  
He didn't have time to brood, as he'd made it to his first destination: the Room of Requirement. Walking past the blank bit of wall three times, he thought of the most romantic setting he could. When he opened his eyes after the third time, a handsome mahogany door had appeared. Entering the room, Remus found, what he believed would be, an incredibly romantic setting to a girl. The room was fairly small, housing a single round table with spindly legs and two matching chairs. In the center of the table was a small cluster of red and white candles, burning softly. Against the back wall was a monstrous marble fireplace with a mahogany mantle, upon which more candles burned. A window on each side of the room were draped in flowing scarlet curtains held back by silvery hooks. The whole room glowed warmly from the fire and the candles.  
  
Remus grinned and accepted the room, then headed off to his second destination. On his way to the kitchens, the young werewolf wondered vaguely why he was bothering to even help James with this. _Because he's your friend? Or maybe because you're sick of seeing Lily turn him down when she obviously likes him? Or perhaps you're just hoping that this practice will give you the courage to do something similar for yourself...with Sirius_. Remus almost laughed out loud at himself. Seduce Sirius with candles and pretty draperies? Not bloody likely. _Plus, you know, that indisputable fact that you're a GUY_.  
  
Remus snarled at the voice in his head as he reached the kitchens. The house elf that had come to greet him started a little.  
  
"C-can I help you with anything, sir?" it asked politely, though a little nervously.  
  
"Uh, yes," replied Remus, trying to be as kind as possible to make up for scaring the poor creature, "Would you mind terribly bringing some food up to the Room of Requirement?"  
  
The house elf nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, of course, sir. What would you like?"  
  
Remus realized he wasn't sure what Lily would like, so he shrugged and said, "Something romantic, if you can manage it. Two settings, please."  
  
The house elf continued to nod and ran off to make the food.  
  
Finally, Remus headed back to the Gryffindor common room. He found a thoroughly annoyed-looking James reciting the passage from the parchment to a snickering Sirius and Peter, who checked to make sure he'd memorized it correctly.  
  
"It better be worth the embarrassment," James snarled.  
  
Remus grinned. "Okay, now go up to the Room of Requirement and wait inside by the table. When she comes in, recite the poem."  
  
"How are you going to get her to go there?" asked Peter.  
  
"I'm the normal one," Remus chuckled a little, being rewarded by glares from the other three, "She won't question me."  
  
James shrugged, as though resigning himself to some sort of horrible torture, and stalked out of the common room. Sirius shook his head, acting as if he thought he may never see his friend again.  
  
Remus waited until James had had plenty of time to reach the room, and then walked over to the staircase to the girls' dormitories. And old-fashioned rule kept boys from climbing those stairs, so he yelled, "Oy! Lily! Ms Lily Evans!"  
  
After a few moments, Lily's head poked out from around the edge of the spiraling staircase, "Oh hi, Remus, what is it?"  
  
"Do me a favor?" he inquired innocently.  
  
Lily looked at him sideways, then descended the stairs to meet him at the bottom. "What kind of favor?" she asked.  
  
"Go to the Room of Requirement," Remus said.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"Can't say," he said, "Just, would you please do this for me?"  
  
Sirius and Peter looked on in interest, waiting for Lily to demand to know what was going on. However, Lily only gazed at the sandy-haired boy for a few minutes, confusion etched on her face, before shrugging. "Sure, okay." And she exited after James – although she didn't know that yet.  
  
When Remus walked back over to the fireplace, Sirius and Peter were looking at him open-mouthed.  
  
"How can you just do that?" Sirius demanded, "If one of us asked her to go up there, she'd refuse, and grill us until we explained exactly why!"  
  
Remus shrugged slightly. "I'm more trustworthy?"  
  
The other boys looked incredulous. Peter thought it quite an insult that he be less trustworthy than a prefect who used his status to help others pull pranks. Sirius just thought it was amazing that Lily hadn't simply said "no" and went back to her room.  
  
"Well anyway, let me know how it turns out." Remus headed back towards the portrait hole.  
  
"Where are you going?" asked Sirius.  
  
Remus answered by pointing to the nearest window, where night was slowly descending upon the castle grounds. "Full moon tonight, remember? Later guys."  
  
The werewolf sighed and started on his way to the safe haven that Dumbledore had set up for him six years previous, thinking that – although he never wanted to transform – he really felt that he couldn't possibly be looking forward to the night any less. He was stopped, however, halfway down the first hall, but a warm hand around his wrist. He turned to face Sirius and fought back a blush sparked by the touch.  
  
"What?" he asked simply.  
  
"Would you like some company?" Sirius' grin was quite mischievous.  
  
Remus looked at his friend sideways for a moment, and then his eyes grew wide. "You don't mean -"  
  
"Yup!" Sirius interrupted, crossing his arms in front of his chest and looking particularly pleased with himself, "Finally got it down."  
  
Remus' face lit up considerably. Back when his friends had first learned of his lycanthropy, they'd insisted on doing something to help him. They hated how he had to isolate himself during the full moon, which they blamed for all the injuries he did to himself at those times. Therefore, after much thought, they had decided to become Animagus, since werewolves are dangerous only to humans. The nicknames they called each other by corresponded to the animals they'd each chosen for the spell. Remus had practically cried with happiness when they told him about it. However, the spell, which would allow them to choose an animal form to transform to at will, turned out to be much more difficult than any of them could have imagined. It took years of practice and dedication, not to mention they had to be very careful since what they were doing was technically illegal, and Remus had assumed that they'd given up on the dream long ago.  
  
"When?" he asked.  
  
"Over the summer," Sirius explained, still grinning handsomely, "We were going to send you an owl about it, but thought we'd surprise you on the first full moon of the year. But now, since James is 'busy', I figured I'd just tell you so you can have some company tonight, cause you look rather lonely."  
  
"What about Peter?" Remus inquired absently.  
  
"Isn't ready yet," Sirius rolled his eyes, "Honestly I'm surprised he made it as far as he did. He can get the tail and the ears, but he's still in human form, so it probably wouldn't be safe for him to try and come along."  
  
Remus had to struggle to keep his eyes from going wide. _A full moon, alone, with Sirius? Breath...breath...breath...  
_  
"But...but what if it doesn't work, Siri?" The look on Remus' face was joy mixed with torturous worry. He wanted so badly to be able to have his friends join him during the full moons, but if he ever hurt one of them he would never be able to forgive himself.  
  
"Don't worry, Rem," Sirius insisted, taking him by the arm again, and leading him in the direction he'd originally been going, "It'll totally work. And even if it doesn't, I'll be able to run faster as a dog and get away if need be."  
  
Remus couldn't help but grin, and blush a little. "Wait," he said, stopping Sirius in his tracks, "Come down after me. Madam Pomphry always takes me down to the willow. She won't let you just follow me along."  
  
"Good point. Okay, see you very soon then." Sirius turned his head sideways in such a way that his onyx hair fell gently across one side of his face. Remus gulped once, smiled, and ran off in the other direction.  
  
As always, Madam Pomphry, the kind-but-strict medi-witch who ran the hospital wing, was waiting just outside for Remus. After exchanging pleasantries, she lead him down the well-known path to a tree on the grounds known as the Whomping Willow. Using a stick, she prodded the knot that caused the tree to freeze and cease it's frantic flailing of branches.  
  
"See you tomorrow, my dear," she said sympathetically, watching Remus crawl into the hidden passageway under the tree.  
  
But Remus did not go on through the passage. He watched until Madam Pomphry had disappeared back to the castle, then he crawled out and held the knot so that the willow would not resume it's usual destructive behavior. He watched through the dark for a few long minutes until his keen eyes picked up a figure in the background, jogging towards him.  
  
"Come on then," Remus smiled as Sirius appeared and dove down into the passage with him.  
  
The walked along the hidden path in silence until they reached a trapdoor in the 'ceiling'. This door lead into the first floor of the Shrieking Shack. This was Dumbledore's safe haven for Remus. The Shrieking Shack, which resided in the nearby all-wizarding town of Hogsmead, was once known as the most haunted residence in all Britain, however, ghostly activity had long-since ceased. Now, Remus used the boarded up old mansion to keep him away from people on full moons; the villagers in town heard his howls and screams of pain during his transformations and assumed that the spirits had simply returned.  
  
Remus lead Sirius to the upstairs floor, to an old bedroom that he usually waited to change. The young werewolf thought nothing of the state of the room, but when Sirius entered he gasped in horror. The walls, the bed sheets, the curtains, everything was slashed, ripped, torn, destroyed. Entire planks of wood had been ripped out of the floor and walls. Worst of all, there were bloodstains splattered over the entire area. Sirius had seen Remus after transformations, bloody and weak, but somehow seeing this room, painted in his friend's blood, made it so much more sickening and powerfully wretched.  
  
Remus stopped in the center of the room and suddenly blushed deep crimson. He turned to Sirius. "Could you possibly...leave until I transform?"  
  
Sirius looked confused. "Why?"  
  
Remus' face grew hotter. "Because...because I usually strip down so that I don't destroy my clothes when I change."  
  
At this, Sirius gave a short chuckle. "Rem, we've been best friends for six years. I don't think you need to be bashful."  
  
Remus gave the absolute best puppy-dog eyes he could muster. "Puh- leeeeease?" he pleaded. _That's just what I need now...Sirius to be staring at my skinny, naked self...  
_  
Now Sirius outright laughed. "Okay, okay, fine," he said, "How about I change first, and I'll sit here with my back turned? Would that be okay?"  
  
Remus thought for a moment. "Yeah, sure," he finally decided, "I want to see your dog form before I lose myself to the wolf anyhow."  
  
Sirius gave a double-thumbs-up, flicked his hair away from his face, and suddenly, in between Remus' blinks, he disappeared. Where he had stood there was now a large, shaggy black dog, panting happily and holding one paw out.  
  
It was Remus' turn to laugh out loud. _He's so cute!_ Walking over to the over-grown puppy, Remus took the outstretched paw in one hand, and scratched behind it's ear with the other. "So you're officially Padfoot now," he said, and the dog gave a very human-like nod, "Well, okay then Padfoot. Time to turn around."  
  
Sirius-the-dog scrunched up his nose in mock-annoyance, then turned in a half circle and plunked down on the floor, staring at the wall. Remus smiled, thinking something about Sirius making '_a cute pet_', and began to strip off his clothes, watching the whole time to make sure Sirius wasn't peeking.  
  
"Now we wait," Remus explained, tucking his clothes on a high shelf in the closet where the wolf wouldn't go for them. He crouched on the floor in front of the window, watching for the inevitable appearance of the moon. He thought dimly that it was rather sad that he was getting to spend this time alone with Sirius, and he had to spend it as a mindlessly destructive beast.  
  
Sirius gave a happy little bark. Remus smiled, "Any minute now. No peeking."  
  
No sooner had the words left his mouth than the clouds parted and a beam of horrible silvery light poured through the window.  
  
Remus could not imagine anything more painful than his transformations. If he had to describe it, he would say that it felt like every molecule of his body was being stretched and broken to fit the form of the wolf. It was as though something was growing rapidly inside him, pushing his bones and muscle and skin outward, forcing it to stretch in ways that shouldn't have been possible. Every vertebra broke, one after another, and his spine bent impossibly. His feet snapped in the middle, forcing him to stand on the balls. His fingers grew longer and sharp claws appeared. Worst of all, his skull split and divided until it was no longer nearly the shape it was meant to be. His face lengthened into a snout, and his entire body sprouted short, silvery-grey fur.  
  
No matter how many times he went through it, the pain never got any easier to handle. In spite of himself, Remus screamed excruciatingly, a scream that echoed into the night and sent birds, frightened, flying into the dark sky. Tears sprang to his eyes and he screamed again and again. Sirius whimpered and whipped around to watch, with wide eyes, as his friend clutched his head in total suffrage.  
  
It seemed that as soon as it began, it ended. Sirius looked on in interest as the wolf flopped down on the floor and immediately began gnawing at one of it's legs. Sirius took a careful step forward. When the wolf neglected to notice him, he took another step, and another. Suddenly the wolf's head shot up and he growled a deep, low, terrifying growl. Sirius whimpered again and backed up several feet, sure that he was in deep trouble now.  
  
But something odd was going on in the wolf's head. Normally the wolf's thought process was limited to "_kill, eat, cause pain_". Now, however, there was something else lingering in the back of his head...  
  
The wolf got up slowly, moved one step at a time towards the shaggy black dog that had invaded it's territory. The dog continued to move backwards, and soon found itself trapped in a corner, whimpering in horror. The wolf's instinct was to go for the kill, rip the other animal's throat out and spend the night devouring it's flesh, happily. Yet something stopped him...there was a voice. There had never been a voice before.  
  
_Sirius is our friend...He cares for us and wants to be with us and keep us happy._  
  
No, other animals are for food.  
  
_This one is not for food. This one is our friend.  
_  
The wolf leaned close and took a long, agonizing sniff of the top of the dog's head.  
  
_We love this one._  
  
The wolf was surprised to find that he recognized the scent. It was the scent of one he desired, one he would have for his mate if he could. The dog whimpered again. The wolf looked at him happily, sniffed his fur again, and fell down beside him.  
  
Sirius was tremendously relieved. For a few moments he was sure that Remus was going to attack him, and there was no way he could have brought himself to attack back. Happily, Sirius licked Remus' paw and nosed him in the face, trying to convey the message '_Let's play!_' It apparently worked, because the wolf perked up and began running in circles, shooting glances at Sirius to join him. Sirius let out the dog equivalent of a laugh, and tackled the wolf, sending them both rolling across the floor and into a wall. Dust flew everywhere and Sirius sneezed a puppy-sneeze that the wolf seemed to find funny.  
  
_Happy. We're happy that Sirius is here with us. We love this one._  
  
Dog and wolf ran and played throughout the mansion for several hours, thoroughly enjoying each other's company until something happened that rarely, if ever, happened during a full moon.  
  
Remus Lupin fell asleep.

* * *

Lover not a fighter: I just love the Marauders to death, you know? So I want to make them as real as possible. 

Haunted-Shadows: Sexy is right! #hugs Sirius# He will eventually find out, don't worry. How could I have hot NC17 scenes if he didn't find out?

Mitsuru, Nozomu and Lalune: To be perfectly honest, almost every guy I know wears silk boxers (mind you, we're all 19 and 20, but that's not that far a shot from 17). My ex-boyfriend wore them all the time. shrugs Besides, I just find them sexy, and thus, there they are. Sorry if you think they're annoying.

AffectedMangoO: You know, I didn't think of it until you mentioned it, but now that you have, I'm going to try to come up with some means to explain how Remus affords to go to Hogwarts. lol Oh, and there will be more on his background, definetly. I find it makes the story that much more angsty to throw in all the pain that he's _already_ had to go through.

The Firebird: I'm not a big grammer fiend. lol It's something I've never been particularly good at. I try to make up for it with a fairly good vocabulary. I'm honored that you think my story is "much better" than others. XD

Tara: You now, I hadn't even realized I had a plotline going on. . But then, I tend to write whatever I feel like and hope that it turns in to a plotline. lol

Hogwarts Poltergeist: I hate it when authors ignore the existance of Peter just because he turns out to be a bad guy. There's no sense in screwing with stuff like that unless you're just plunking the characters into a random storyline that has nothing to do with Hogwarts.

Legola lu, Plushii, Cookie, Black Crystall Draygon, Obviously Oblivious, elvencherry07: Thank you all, I'm glad you like it so far, and I will try to update as often as I can!


	3. Chapter Three: Do You Hate Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters or settings, or anything else that you may recognize from the books. If I did, I wouldn't be posting fanfictions, duh.

Rating: It's PG for now, but I'll warn you in advance that things will become closer to NC17 within a few chapters. I promise it'll be a lot more tasteful than what some people post, but if that still bothers you, please don't read. This fanfic contains SLASH. Warning warning warning.

Author's Notes: Chapter three for your viewing pleasure! I'm having so much fun with this, hense the fairly quick updates, and I've been getting so many reviews! You people make me feel so loved! cries I've never gotten so much input to something before. Please, keep 'em coming. I love you all to death!   
(Replies to reviews at bottom.)

**Chapter Three – Do You Hate Me?**  
  
For quite possibly the first time in his life, Sirius Black woke up before Remus Lupin. Mind you, this phenomenon was likely owing to the extremely uncomfortable position he'd fallen asleep in, curled up on the hard floor with his head propped up against Remus' back. Yawning widely and stretching his cricked neck, human-Sirius leaned up over human-Remus' shoulder and smiled warmly at his sleeping friend.  
  
"Morning, Moony," he whispered softly. Remus stirred slightly, but slept on.  
  
The slightly older boy stood and stretched every muscle, several bones popping in the process. He ran a hand through his ebony hair, annoyed that it felt less than perfectly straight at the moment, and grinned to himself suddenly. He'd done it! He'd spent an entire full moon with Remus! He'd even kept his friend from doing himself bloody harm, as he usually did!  
  
Mentally patting himself on the back, Sirius walked over to the closet to retrieve Remus' clothes. Then, for the sake of his friend's humility, he walked backwards and blindly draped the school robes over the lower half of Remus' naked body. Finally, he flopped back down on the floor in front of his friend, curling up with his face near Remus'.  
  
Remus looked incredibly peaceful, which, in itself, was an unknown occurrence after a full moon. He was breathing slow and deep, his thin lips slightly parted, his shoulder raising and falling rhythmically with every breath.  
  
If anyone ever tried to tell Remus that he was handsome, he'd probably fight them tooth-and-nail and begin comparing himself to the likes of Sirius, or even James. Regardless, Remus Lupin was, in fact, rather handsome in an adorably innocent kind of way. A few inches shorter than Sirius, and rather skinny, the muscle that he did have only served to keep him from looking like a skeleton. But somehow, skinny suited him and added to his cuteness. Sandy-blond hair fell a little messily down to his ears in a manner that showed he didn't pay much attention to his appearance on a daily basis. A few strands fell across his eyes as he slept, covering a few faint scars of full moons long ago.  
  
_Any girl would be crazy not to want him..._Sirius thought, reaching to brush the strands of hair behind Remus' ear. Remus stirred, yawned, and slowly opened a pair of gorgeous amber-colored eyes.  
  
"Morning, sunshine!" Sirius grinned.  
  
Remus started a little and his eyes went wide. He yelped and jumped to a sitting position before noticing the robe around his midsection.  
  
Sirius' grin grew wider, and more mischievous. "Don't worry mate, I didn't peek, I swear!"  
  
Remus blinked a few times, then suddenly he broke out into a huge smile, started laughing like an insane person, and threw his arms around Sirius' neck. "It worked!" he cried joyously, "You were able to stay! And I could feel you there! I mean, it was weird and the wolf still had control, but, oh Siri, it was wonderful!"  
  
Sirius, who had been taken aback by the sudden embrace, chuckled and ruffled his hand through Remus' hair, much in the way you would do to a younger brother. Remus, now fully realizing what he'd done, pulled back sharply and blushed like mad, which only served to make Sirius laugh harder.  
  
"You're so cute Rem!" he snorted.  
  
Remus flushed even harder and struggled to arrange his robes so that more of his body was hidden. Laughing maniacally, Sirius turned his back to allow Remus to get dressed.  
  
"I can't believe..." Remus mumbled to himself, "I don't ever remember sleeping before. The wolf usually stays up all night hurting itself."  
  
"Must be my incredible puppy-charm," Sirius spoke to the wall, "Even as a wolf, you just couldn't resist cuddling up with me."  
  
Remus was sincerely glad that Sirius had his back turned and could not see the look on his face that said, _Well yeah, duh!  
_  
"Ahem."  
  
The attention-grabbing cough came just as Remus finished pulling his pants up, and the two boys whirled around to face the door. Madam Pomphry was standing there, arms crossed, an eyebrow raised, tapping her foot as if waiting for an explanation.  
  
Sirius spoke first, "Uh, I can explain, see-"  
  
But Madam Pomphry raised a hand. "I'm sure I do not want to know, Mr. Black. I'm just here to check on my patient." She walked over to Remus and immediately started poking and prodding at him, searching his body for injuries to heal, but finding none other than a small cut on the foot the wolf had begun to gnaw on the night before. She raised both eyebrows and looked up at Remus in a very confused manner.  
  
"I, uh, fell asleep," was the only explanation Remus could come up with for her, "Couldn't do any damage in my sleep, I suppose." He couldn't help but let a grin escape.  
  
Madam Pomphry's eyebrows seemed to raise even higher, if that was possible. "Well then," she said, fully disbelieving the werewolf's story, "Perhaps you should try sleeping through every full moon, then." With this she gave an almost unnoticeable glance at Sirius, before turning to leave. "Do be careful, won't you boys?" she spoke as she walked, "I rather enjoy not having any student deaths on my record."  
  
Sirius looked at her sideways as she left. "Think she knows?" he asked absently.  
  
Remus shrugged. "As long as she doesn't tell anyone, I don't care," he replied, grinning, "All I care about is that I got to spend the entire full moon with you, I slept, and I didn't hurt myself."  
  
Sirius grinned back. "Glad to be of service, Moony."

* * *

It was Saturday, so by the time Remus and Sirius got back to the Gryffindor common room, students were just beginning to stir from their beds. Several people were hauling themselves sleepily off to breakfast. Lily Evans was sitting on one of the couches, a giddy smile on her face as she read a book without moving her eyes.  
  
"I wanna get a shower and change," Sirius announced, "There's a lot of dust in that place."  
  
So they went upstairs to grab some clothes to change into. In the boys' dorm, James and Peter were just getting out of bed. When James saw Remus enter, he moved with the incredible speed he was known to have on the Quiddich pitch, surprising Remus thoroughly by grabbing him in a bone- breaking hug.  
  
"James!" Remus coughed out hoarsely, "I generally need to breathe to survive!"  
  
James let his embrace drop, but held Remus' shoulders and grinned like an idiot. "You," he started, "Are a complete, sodding genius! I totally love you!"  
  
Peter shook his head sadly. "He's been like this since last night," he told the other two, "Wouldn't let me sleep. Just kept retelling the story over and over again."  
  
"What story?" Sirius asked, then realization dawned on his face, "Oh! Hey, yeah! What happened with Lily?"  
  
Peter groaned the second the question left Sirius' mouth, and dashed for the door to get away from hearing the story again.  
  
James was still grasping Remus' shoulders. "Well, I did what you said, mate," he started, talking at an abnormal speed, "I went in, and I waited by the table, right? It was difficult too, because the food that was up there smelled so good and I wanted it hoe in, but I didn't want Lily to come in and find me stuffing my face. So anyway, I waited, and she came in and she kind of looked at me funny and asked me what was going on, and I panicked for a minute, but then I pulled myself together and I recited the poem you wrote me, Remus."  
  
Here he paused for breath and the other two boys looked on expectantly.  
  
"And?" Remus asked, "What did she do."  
  
"She laughed her arse off."  
  
Remus and Sirius blinked. James looked incredibly happy.  
  
"Uh..." Sirius started.  
  
"Yeah, she laughed herself silly, right?" continued James, "She said that poetry was definitely not my thing and she just laughed like a madwoman for what seemed like forever. Thought I was going to die from embarrassment. Then she comes over and tells me that it was a sweet gesture, and she'd agree to give it a go if I promised to never recite poetry for her again."  
  
Here he stopped, and after a few moments silence all three boys burst into hysterics.  
  
"Well, did she at least enjoy the dinner?" Remus asked through gasps of air.  
  
James nodded excitedly. "Loved it. Loved the food, loved the romantic setting. Loved the poem even. Just hated me reciting it."  
  
Sirius has almost managed to stop laughing, but at James' comment, burst into it again. "That's just great, mate. You've killed two birds with one stone: you got the girl, and you don't ever have to look at another piece of fruity poetry again."  
  
Remus' pillow connected with the side of Sirius' head, and although he was laughing, he stuck out his tongue at the other boy. "There's nothing wrong with my poetry!"  
  
Once they'd all managed to calm down a bit, James' mind suddenly prodded him violently.  
  
"Oh!" he cried, "Wormtail said you guys both went to the Shrieking Shack last night! How did that go?"  
  
Sirius grinned and put a hand around Remus' shoulder. "I must say I make a very good nanny," he barked, "Managed to keep him in line all night. Even tucked him in for a nice little nap."  
  
Remus shoved at Sirius playfully. "It was great Prongs," he said to James, "I've never slept during a full moon, and I woke up with a single scratch." He grinned even wider than Sirius was. "I can't wait to see you and Peter transform too!"  
  
James rolled his eyes. "Well if you want, I'll show you sometime when no one is around, but I don't know about Pete. We're going to have to work him twice as hard if we every want him to get the transformation down. I'll try to help him get it by next full moon so we can all go out."  
  
Remus grabbed James and Sirius into a tight group hug. "Thanks you guys," he said quietly, "I can tell this year is going to be the best ever."  
  
All three boys smiled at one another, until Sirius broke the hug. "Sorry guys, I'm going to go crazy if I don't get a shower and get all this dust out of my hair," he laughed.  
  
Grabbing some clothes, both Sirius and Remus made to head to the boys' bathroom, but James grabbed Remus by the wrist.  
  
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.  
  
"Uh, sure," Remus blinked a few times at his friend, "What for?"  
  
Sirius glanced back for a second, then left the room with a shrug. When he was gone, James lead Remus over the his bed and they both sat down.  
  
"Rem," he started, "It didn't go quite as you planned, but your help with Lily was amazing. Apparently you were right when you always said that I know nothing about girls." At this he grinned again. "But now that you've helped me get my foot in the door, I've finally managed what I couldn't for six years. Lily actually admitted that she likes me, and we're going to, you know, date and stuff."  
  
It was Remus' turn to grin. "No problem mate. I was getting a little sick of seeing you fail, is all." He started to chuckle, but James had suddenly developed a rather serious face.  
  
"That's what I want to talk about," the other boy said, running a hand through his disastrous hair, "You helped me out because you wanted to see me happy. Well, I want to see you happy too."  
  
Remus could see where this was going and he winced a little. "James -"  
  
But James interrupted. "Rem, this is ridiculous, okay? I want you to be happy, and to do that I will help you get the girl of your dreams, just like you helped me get mine. I promise I won't laugh or anything; I won't even tell the other guys if you don't want me to. Just tell me who she is so I can return the favor by helping you get her!"  
  
Remus was shaking his head already. "It's okay, Prongs. You and Lily have gotten together and that makes me happy. Consider it a free service."  
  
"I don't let favors go without repaying them, Moony. Especially not one like this, which is so important to me."  
  
"Don't worry about it."  
  
James narrowed his eyes. "I didn't want to have to take it this far," he said in a low voice.  
  
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Huh?"  
  
And without warning, the bespectacled boy attacked. For James knew Remus' one deadly secret...he knew that Remus Lupin was ticklish.  
  
"AH!" Remus cried between bursts of teary laughter, "NO! Get off!"  
  
"Tell me who she is!" James demanded, laughing himself, as he pinned down Remus' arms to the bed and drilled his fingers into the boy's sides.  
  
"No!" Remus fought back, kicking as hard as he could, but connecting with nothing, "Dammit James! Ha ha ha! No! I don't want to!" He managed to get a hand free and shoved at his friend as hard as he could.  
  
James fell back a bit, but quickly pounced again, pinning Remus back to the bed before he could escape. "It's for your own good, mate!" he insisted, intensifying the tickling until Remus was reduced to a squirming ball of teary mirth.  
  
"Sirius!" the amber-eyed boy cried between gasps of air.  
  
"He can't save you now, Rem!" James laughed evilly.  
  
"No!" Remus cried, desperate to do anything to stop the onslaught that was threatening to drown him in his own breathlessness, "It's Sirius! I'm in love with Sirius!"  
  
Remus felt James' weight disappear and suddenly there was a deadly silence. Instantly he was sorry he'd said anything. James sat at the edge of the bed, staring with his mouth hanging open.  
  
"Wha-?"  
  
For a split-second Remus considered laughing and saying that it was all a joke, but he knew that there was no way he could make the lie convincing enough for James to believe it. The second great, horrible secret of his life was out, and so he did the only other thing he could think to do.  
  
He burst into tears.  
  
"Y-you h-hate me now, d-don't you?" he stuttered through his hands as he pressed them to his face to hide the salty drops falling from his eyes, "I'm in l-love with S-Sirius. I have b-been since f-forth year. And n-now you're g-going t-to hate me because I'm a f-fucking gay werewolf!"  
  
If there was one thing that Remus did not expect to happen, it was to feel James' arms around him. He continued to cry into his friend's shirt for a few moments until finally he looked up into James' smiling face.  
  
"Remy, you're so stupid sometimes," he said.  
  
"W-what?" Remus sniffed loudly.  
  
"You kept this a secret all this time because you thought I would hate you?" James' voice was soft and full of extreme caring, and Remus noticed that he did not shy away from touching him as he held him and smiled at him, "Haven't you learned anything? We instantly accepted you being a werewolf. Did you honestly think it would be any different with this?"  
  
"R-really?" Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
  
"Yes, you stupid thing," James chuckled a little now, "You shocked me a little; I mean, it's not exactly something I ever expected you to tell me. But I don't hate you for it, and besides maybe a couple of Slytherins, who no one gives a rat's ass about anyway, no one else will hate you for it either. It's not such an abnormal thing, you know?"  
  
"But -" Remus started, but James put a finger to his lips to stop him.  
  
"Trust me Rem. No one cares. There are no laws in the wizarding world, or the muggle world for that matter, that say you have to love a girl. Some close-minded bastards will try to convince you that it's wrong, but they're just that: bastards. Love isn't meant to be given only to a member of the opposite sex. Love is meant to be given to the one you care about the most, and who you think deserves it. And if you love Sirius, then I think that Sirius is an extremely lucky guy to have deserved those feelings of you."  
  
Remus had stopped crying and was now staring at his friend without blinking. It didn't seem possible that James, the boy who had needed intervening help to show a girl that he wasn't a complete ponce, could say something so kind and profound.  
  
"But..." the werewolf choked out, "I love someone who will never love me back."  
  
At this James let his arms drop and tilted his head a little. "Haven't you been listening to what I'm saying?" he asked, a little bit of humor in his voice, "I don't believe that anyone is totally straight or totally gay. Everyone has the ability to love anyone. All you've got to do is prove to Sirius that you love him more than anyone else. Even he can understand that. Mind you, you've got a lot of pretty girls to compete with..."  
  
"_Jaaaaaaa-ammmmes_!" Remus whined, dropping and shoving his head in a pillow.  
  
James laughed a bit, then reached out an patted Remus' shoulder. "Sorry, mate," he smiled, "Listen, I promised you that I'm going to help, and I intend to keep that promise."  
  
Remus looked up from the pillow. "Really?"  
  
James shrugged. "Of course. You helped me, after all. Mind you this could take a while." He took off his glasses and rubbed the side of his head. "I was, after all, running on the assumption that it was a _girl_ I had to make fall in love with you..."  
  
Remus couldn't help but groan. James shifted in the bed to sit next to his friend and drape an arm around his shoulder.  
  
"But," he pointed out, "We do have a secret weapon that we've never had before, which will probably be very handy in planning out our attack."  
  
Remus looked up from where he was burying his head in his hands again. "What's that?"  
  
"We've got a girl's perspective," James said, smirking, "Thanks, mostly, to you, we've got Lily."

* * *

LythTaeraneth: Everyone wants Sirius. It's a rule of life. #lol# Glad you enjoyed!

Shine: As you can see from this chapter, no, the wizarding world is not against homosexuality. I'm sorry if I gave off that impression in the first chapters, but honestly, do you know any teenage boys who discovered that they were gay and just immediately accepted it?

Lover not a fighter: Hot NC17 scenes indeed. I will stress again, however, TASTEFUL scenes. I'm not a porn freak. XD Thanks for your kind words. I enjoy wirting, and it's nice to be told that I'm good at it.

madisonfairie: Um, someone please correct me if I'm wrong about this one, but I'm rather sure that it was the 7th year that they mastered the Animagus stuffs, because I remember thinking "Wow, all that work to only be able to take advantage of it for one year". #shrugs# I could be wrong.

Please enter your name: #lol# I'll try not to. Actually a friend of mine and I are motivating each other not to quit. I'm writing and she's drawing a S/R doujinshi. If I ever try to quit, she's likely to maim me, so I don't think you have anything to worry about!

Haunted-Shadows: I agree. I pray every night to meet someone like Sirius. XD Glad you liked the puppy-play. I'm not sure by your comment whether you're looking forward to the NC17 stuffs or not, so I will just state again: TASTEFUL, I swear!

Black Crystall Draygon: I thought it would be cute to have Remus help James out, plus, as you can see from the above chapter, it served another purpose. I'm toying with the idea of actually writing a love poem myself and having Remus read it to Sirius. XD I don't know how well that would go over though.

The Firebird : Uh, I'm assuming you got banned or something, as when I tried to e-mail you, the site said that you no longer existed as a member. Anyhow, thanks for the kind comments, and for your offer of grammer-nit-picking. 'Twas very nice of you. I would have sent you this chapter for a trial run, but like I mentioned, fanfiction is telling me that you don't exist.

Falling Night, Obviously Oblivious, arandomidiot, Legolas19, Tora88, LunasStar, korosu: Thank you all for your kind words. Glad you're all liking it! Love ya!


	4. Chapter Four: Arrogance

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters or settings, or anything else that you may recognize from the books. If I did, I wouldn't be posting fanfictions, duh.

Rating: It's PG for now, but I'll warn you in advance that things will become closer to NC17 within a few chapters. I promise it'll be a lot more tasteful than what some people post, but if that still bothers you, please don't read. This fanfic contains SLASH. Warning warning warning.

Author's Notes: I hate this chapter. I feel that it is teh suck in a major way. But I feel incredibly tired and annoyed this weekend, and I mostly wrote it because Kell is withholding her doujinshi from me until I write more. . #glare# So anyhow...I promise the next chapter will be better. .

**Chapter Four - Arrogance  
**  
"_Really_?!"  
  
Remus groaned. James put a hand to his forehead.  
  
"For the last time, Lily...YES!" the messy-haired boy cried.  
  
It was a month before James and Remus got the chance to snag Lily while simultaneously avoiding Peter and Sirius. The three were now sitting on the floor in the Room of Requirement while Sirius was in the common room helping Peter with the last perfections of his transformation.  
  
Lily was blinking at Remus with a disbelieving look on her face. "Sorry Remus," she said, "I mean, it sort of makes sense, seeing as I've never seen you with a girl before..." The pretty redhead looked as though she was going through an intense internal struggle. "But, I mean, well...you're just so_ cute_!"  
  
Remus turned red. "Uh..."  
  
James narrowed his eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?" he demanded.  
  
"Now, now, Potter," Lily said, winking and waving a finger, "Don't get jealous. I'm just in a bit of denial is all. It's always a little sad for a girl to learn that such an adorable guy is gay."  
  
Remus' face grew hotter. "But Lily, I'm not..."  
  
"Nonsense!" Lily exclaimed, "You're gorgeous and don't you dare think differently!"  
  
James looked like his head was about to explode. "Could we _please_?!"  
  
Lily stuck her tongue out at him playfully, then turned back to Remus. "Okay, so you're gay then? What does that have to do with me?"  
  
Remus looked at James with a pained expression. James sighed and turned to Lily. "We need your advice. You see, it's not so much the _being_ gay that's the problem, as _who_ it is that he's in love with."  
  
Remus looked miserable. "I'm in love with Sirius," he said very quietly, "For a long time now..."  
  
Lily's eyes went wide. "I...I see..." For a moment she looked at the boys thoughtfully and gravely, but then she clasped her hands together and broke out into a huge smile. "All right then!"  
  
The boys blinked at her sudden enthusiasm.  
  
"The first thing we have to do," Lily announced, matter-of-factly, "Is to find out how Sirius feels about a guy being in love with him."  
  
Remus nearly choked. He slammed his hands down on the floor and stared at Lily with huge eyes. "Y-you're not going to tell him?!" he squeaked.  
  
Lily laughed out loud and reached over to pat Remus on the head. "Don't worry, sweetie. I won't name names." She grinned cheerily.

* * *

That night at dinner Remus found that he couldn't even look at Sirius without feeling sick. He'd never felt so nervous in his life. He was quite sure that Sirius was going to be disgusted at the though of a guy liking him in that way.  
  
"You okay, Moony?" the raven-haired boy asked with his mouth full of chicken, "You look a little green."  
  
Remus risked a quick glance at Sirius and forced a smile through while his stomach churned wretchedly. "I'm fine Padfoot," he lowered his voice so no one would hear, "Full moon tomorrow, you know?"  
  
Sirius nodded in understanding and returned to his meal.  
  
James stood up suddenly. "I've got to find out when next Quiddich practice is," he announced, heading off to the other end of the long table. James was the Gryffindor seeker, and used this excuse to leave Sirius' presence for a few moments. This was Lily's signal to rush over.  
  
"Hey guys!" she said happily, taking the seat next to Sirius where James had just gotten up from.  
  
"Hey Lils," Peter and Sirius returned. Remus said nothing, for he was scared some strangled noise would come out of his mouth instead of a greeting.  
  
Lily glanced up the table to make sure James was nowhere near. They had decided that Lily requesting a meeting with Sirius with James nearby would be too unrealistic. James was naturally jealous, and if he hadn't demanded to know what Lily wanted with Sirius, the boy would likely be suspicious, and James was also a very horrible actor.  
  
Lily leaned in close to Sirius' ear when Peter wasn't looking and Remus was pretending not to look. "Pst...Siri...meet me in the Room of Requirement in an hour."  
  
Sirius made to look up at her, a confused look on his face, but she had already gotten up from her seat. "See you guys then!" she called, heading back to sit with her girl friends. Sirius and Peter both watched her go, bewilderment on both faces, but for different reasons.  
  
"Can't make up her mind who she wants to sit with, or what?" Peter mumbled.  
  
James returned a moment later, trying desperately to show no indication that he'd seen Lily with his friends. He gave a meaningful glance at Remus and they all continued eating like normal, though Sirius was now a lot quieter.

* * *

"I've got to, uh, go talk to McGonagall," Sirius announced an hour later, standing up suddenly from his seat in the common room.  
  
James and Remus said nothing, but Peter looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Why?" he asked.  
  
"Um..." Sirius wasn't a great liar, which was evident as he struggled to think of a good reason, "Wants to talk to me about my grades. I'm, uh, apparently failing Transfiguration."  
  
James squinted his eyes shut for a second to keep himself rolling them. Sirius was a wonderful Transfiguration student, which Peter obviously realized as well. "But -" the chubby boy started to argue, but Sirius had already run out of the common room. Peter watched him go with a look of puzzlement on his face.  
  
"Pete, could you do me a favor?" Remus asked, catching the other boy's attention, "Would you mind running up to the library and grabbing this book for me?" He scribbled a title on a piece of parchment and handed it over.  
  
Peter looked at the piece of parchment and then back up at Remus. "Why don't you do it yourself?"  
  
Remus tried to make himself look as tired and miserable as possible, which wasn't too difficult considering the snakes slithering around in his stomach. "I'm feeling really horrible this moon cycle," he half-lied, "I just rather don't feel like moving right now."  
  
"Oh, okay," Peter replied in a pitying tone as he stood, "I'll go get it then."  
  
As soon as he left, James ran up to the dorm and returned with his invisibility cloak.  
  
"I feel horrible lying to Pete," Remus said, "He's going to come back here with the book to find me gone after I said I didn't want to move."  
  
James dragged his friend outside the common room and threw the cloak over the two of them, making them vanish from sight. "Don't worry about it," he whispered, "Tell him you had to go to the bathroom or something." Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of perfume. James looked at him sideways. "What the hell is that for?" he asked.  
  
"Sirius' sense of smell has increased significantly since he mastered his transformation to a dog," Remus explained, spritzing entirely too much of the perfume on James and himself, "We don't want him to smell us. Hopefully he'll think the perfume is coming from Lily."  
  
"Lily doesn't wear this much perfume," James hissed, scrunching his nose up at the smell, "Thank Merlin."  
  
The two invisible boys moved as quickly as the could through the castle, weaving in and out of students and faculty who were roaming the halls, careful not to bump into anyone and cause a scene. When they reached the Room of Requirement, Lily was waiting outside, tapping her foot.  
  
"We're here," James whispered in her ear, causing her to jump about half a mile.  
  
She nodded, then sniffed the air and scrunched up her nose in much the way James just had. "What the hell?"  
  
"Don't ask," James whispered quickly.  
  
Lily raised an eyebrow at nothing, then shrugged and opened the door wide enough for the two boys to slip in, before closing it behind her. Sirius had evidently been pacing the room, and looked up nervously as Lily entered.  
  
"Hi!" the redhead waved, smiling, "Thanks for coming!"  
  
"What's this about, Lily?" Sirius asked, a weird sort of look on his face.  
  
"I need to ask you something," she replied, walking over to stand next to him.  
  
James and Remus moved quietly into a corner behind Sirius and listened carefully.  
  
Sirius sniffed and his expression contorted. "What is that smell?"  
  
Lily raised an eyebrow. "New perfume," she said through gritted teeth. Under the cloak, James glared at Remus, who shrugged.  
  
"Anyway," Lily continued, "The thing is, I have this friend who really, really likes you a lot, and -"  
  
She was cut off by Sirius sighing and raising a hand to stop her. "Look Lil," he said in a pained sort of voice, "I'm really flattered and everything, but I just couldn't do it, okay? James is my best mate, and he cares about you a lot. I couldn't do something like that to him."  
  
Lily stared blankly for a moment and then unceremoniously slapped herself in the forehead. Under the cloak in the corner, James and Remus did the same thing, struggling not to groan. "_I'll kill him_," James hissed.  
  
Lily parted her fingers and glared through them at Sirius. He looked at her with an aggrieved expression, as though he couldn't believe he was turning down a date from any girl, let alone such a pretty one.  
  
"Sirius Black, you are the most vain, pig-headed, conceited, self-centered, arrogant, egotistical, moronic, git I have ever had the displeasure of knowing."  
  
Sirius stared with wide eyes, blinking a few times as he struggled to take in all the insults.  
  
"That's my girl," James whispered proudly to Remus.  
  
"Uh..." Sirius started.  
  
"My friend," Lily interrupted, deciding to just cut to the chase, "Is a _guy_."  
  
Sirius' mouth dropped open. "Wha??"  
  
Remus cringed. _He's freaked. He's completely, totally, freaked_.  
  
"I have a friend," Lily repeated, "Who really likes you a lot, and who happens to be a guy."  
  
There were a few moments of silence through which Sirius stared blankly with his mouth hanging open, and Remus held his breath under the cloak. Then, suddenly, and to the surprise of everyone, Sirius burst into hysterics.  
  
"Well I guess that's to be expected!" he guffawed, "I mean, look at me!" He flashed Lily a winning grin, causing her to roll her eyes in disgust. "Surely if every girl in the school is in love with me, eventually there would have to be a guy or two as well, right?" He continued to laugh, heartily while James and Remus stared in disbelief and Lily's hand returned to her forehead.  
  
"My point, Sirius," the girl grumbled, her teeth clenched menacingly, "In coming here, was to find out whether there is any point to his feelings."  
  
Sirius stopped laughing and cocked his head a little. "What do you mean?" he asked.  
  
Lily sighed. "I mean, is there any chance you could ever like a guy that way, or should I just tell him to give up now?" Sirius seemed to think for a moment, then grinned. "I guess that would have to depend on the guy," he said, sneakily, "So you should probably tell me who it is."  
  
Lily glared. "You're not going to trick me that easily, Black. Just answer the question."  
  
Sirius shrugged a little and continued to grin. "I did answer the question. 'It would have to depend on the guy'." With this he walked past Lily and opened the door to leave. "So if you're not going to tell me who it is, then I guess I can't help you." He winked once before turning to exit. "Later Lils!"  
  
When the door shut and a few moments passed, James pulled the cloak off himself and Remus. Lily turned to look at them, frustration plastered all over her face.  
  
"He is such a _prat_!" she exclaimed, "He's just being difficult because he wants to know who it is!"  
  
"His answer seemed clear enough to me," James told her, "'It depends on the guy'. I think that was his way of saying that he's a man-whore and he'll take anything that walks as long as it's attractive enough."  
  
Remus punched James in the right arm. Lily took the left. "Don't talk about your friend that way," the girl hissed.  
  
James rubbed both his arms and glared. "After what you said, you're telling me not to talk that way?"  
  
The group walked back to the common room feeling somewhat defeated, but Remus couldn't help but also feel a little hopeful. _He didn't completely freak out_, he thought, _He didn't give a straight answer, but he didn't freak out. Maybe there is a chance..._  
  
Lily entered the common room first. If Sirius had returned already, they didn't want him to see the three of them coming in together with James' invisibility cloak. The boys waited fifteen minutes, and then followed. Sirius had, in fact, returned and was staring intently into the fireplace. The second they entered, Peter bore down on top of them.  
  
"Where did you go?" he whined, eyebrows tightened, "I got the book." He held out a tattered old volume of jinxes and hexes.  
  
"I felt really sick all of a sudden," Remus lied, "Wanted to go to the prefect's bathroom where no one would have to hear me retching."  
  
Peter's glare softened considerably, but now he looked to James. "So why do you have the cloak then?" he demanded, pointing at the tightly rolled bundle that James hid under his arm.  
  
"Didn't know how long he was going to be," James spat out after a second, "Didn't want him getting caught by Filch after hours, so I thought I'd bring it down in case he needed it later. But he was already finished when I got there."  
  
Pete seemed satisfied with the answer, but demanded a game of wizard chess as compensation for being ditched. James obliged and ran up to tuck away his cloak before heading to the corner of the common room to set up the table.  
  
Remus walked casually over to wear Sirius was sitting and was about to sit in the next armchair over when Sirius looked up. "Hey Rem," he smiled, "Sit here." He patted the section of the couch directly beside him and Remus gulped and sat nervously, his hands crossed in his lap.  
  
"You'll never guess what just happened, Rem," Sirius spoke again.  
  
_I bet I _could _guess...  
_  
"Lily informed me that she knows of a guy who likes me. You know...'likes' likes."  
  
_Act surprised you idiot!_ "Oh...really?" Remus managed.  
  
Sirius had a very thoughtful look on his face. "Yeah..." He turned to face Remus, who struggled to keep his heartbeat in check. "What do you think of that?"  
  
"Um, well," the werewolf couldn't help but stutter a little, "I guess I think it's interesting. Are...are you going to do anything about it?" It was difficult to keep the tone of hope out of his voice.  
  
Sirius stared intently into the fire. "Don't know who he is," he explained, "Lily wouldn't tell me. And it really would depend. I mean, I wouldn't question my sexuality for just any guy." He said this with a grin as though it was a joke.  
  
"Well what kind of guy _would_ you question your sexuality for?"  
  
Sirius turned and looked straight into Remus' mysterious amber eyes. For a few minutes the two simply gazed into each other's eyes and Remus started to feel very uncomfortable, in several ways; he lifted his feet up onto the couch and shifted his position so that his robe was covering him satisfactorily. Sirius reached up absently, apparently not thinking about what he was doing, and tucked a strand of hair behind Remus' ear.  
  
_Ohmygodheistouchingme!_  
  
"Wanna play some chess?" Sirius asked suddenly, a weird tone in his voice, pulling his hand back.  
  
Remus hugged his knees very close to his chest, knowing that there was no way he was getting up for a while anyway. "Sure."  
  
Sirius stood up to get another chess set. Remus watched him carefully, his observational skills failing him for the first time ever as he thought, _What's with him?_

* * *

LythTaeraneth: lol You were on loads of suger and caffiene when you wrote that last review, weren't you? Glad you liked the sweet/fluffy. And we are in total agreement that everyone wants Sirius. In fact, I'm feeling inclined to write a Sirius/James fic after this one. #rubs hands together evily#

mizukimarr910: #blink blink# Why am I a dumbass? o.o

Haunted-Shadows: I henchforth make it my mission to write an NC17 scene that you enjoy. Bwa ha ha.... Yes, I love James and Lily, so I thought I'd give them a purpose in the storyline.

wantstoshaglupin: Bwa ha ha. Glad you liked James' speech. For some reason I see James as being the sensitive one, even though that's not how he comes across in the real books. #hugs him#

The Great Meep, madisonfairie: Dammit! I feel like an ass now. Honest, if I hadn't been 100% sure that they did it in seventh year, I would have gone and looked it up. As it stands, both my friend and I were 100% sure, and obviously also 100% wrong. . I apologize deeply for the destruction of continuity.

SP-in-Sirius-Denial: Hopefully a considerably amount of time will elapse, although for the sake of time contraints in the storyline, they'll probably be getting it on a little quicker than would be considered normal. And I agree with your last comment there. I've read quite a few stories that were good, but then suddenly came off as porn and turned me off completely. .

Athena's Wiccan-wolf: I agree, Remus would also be quite a catch. My opinion switches sides quite often. Right now I'm just stuck on Sirius because he's so fokking hot! But anyway, I digress: I will not be using the word 'cock'. That's just...too gross-sounding or something. XD

Lover not a fighter: "I think we can expect great things from you, Ms Clarke_...terrible _things...yes....but great._"_ LMAO

The Almighty Dill Pickle: I think I'm looking more to make this a happy one. I DO have plans in the works for a very angsty one though. Look forward to it.

Geeky Blue Strawberry: Heh heh...you're nuts. I don't ever expect to become an actual author, but thanks for the compliment anyhow. I don't plan on stopping, either. Kell would kill me.

Black Crystall Draygon: Remus just struck me as the ticklish type. #evil#

Silver Neo: #insane giggles# You are a nut. Thank you very much for kind words and the Potter/Malfoy kisses. I giggled at that for about an hour.

Tora88, Legolas19, Please enter your name, Obviously Oblivious, Falling Night, sabrea, HappyDappyDrunk, Marble, bludgers-n-broomsticks, kuroneko89, Legola lu: Thank you all for reading and I'm glad you're liking it! Please keep reading!


	5. Chapter Five: Misunderstandings

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters or settings, or anything else that you may recognize from the books. If I did, I wouldn't be posting fanfictions, duh.

Rating: It's PG for now, but I'll warn you in advance that things will become closer to NC17 within a few chapters. I promise it'll be a lot more tasteful than what some people post, but if that still bothers you, please don't read. This fanfic contains SLASH. Warning warning warning.

Author's Notes: I should be studying right now! #hits self in head# . You people better really appreciate my quick updates, because I'm going to fail my exams because of them.

Okay, so I'm not going to FAIL, but I'm not going to do as well as I could be doing. XD I'm just too obsessed with writing lately! I got home from my first exam today and I just sat at the computer and typed until I had another chapter. Hope you enjoy. It's chock full of your daily recommended serving of angst.

**Chapter Five – Misunderstandings**  
  
That night, Sirius Black lay awake in his bed, listening to the deep, steady breathing and occasional snores of his roommates. A dozen thoughts swam through his mind, refusing to let him sleep. Though he'd managed to laugh it off in front of Lily, it had surprised him quite a bit to find out that he'd earned the affections of a guy. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was certainly different, and he wasn't quite sure how to think about it. It had occurred to him once, back in fifth year, that he didn't think he was entirely straight, but he'd never pursued any guys before. It really didn't matter to him that much to verify his sexuality. He had tons of girls swooning for him at any given time. Who needed guys too?  
  
And then there was the smell. Sirius sniffed the air in the dorm, confirming that the smell was still there. He'd first noticed it when he'd been talking to Remus. Though it was faint, his dog senses could pick up the scent all over the werewolf. It was the same scent that had offended his nose when he'd met with Lily. He'd thought it very odd at first, that Remus would have perfume all over him, and then he'd realized that Remus wasn't the only one. Sirius sniffed the dorm air again and sure enough, as he'd thought before, James was also covered in the odor. Why, he wondered, would both James and Remus be covered in Lily's perfume? James was understandable; although Sirius had not expected them to move so fast, it wasn't hard to believe that, now the two were dating, they had being doing something that would cause James to get Lily's perfume on him. But why, then, would Remus also have the scent all over him?  
  
Sirius cringed and gripped his pillow until his knuckles turned white. There was only one explanation.  
  
Lily was cheating on James with Remus.  
  
_How could they do this to James?_ Sirius sighed. He'd always thought Lily was such a sweet girl. Crazy, maybe, but sweet. _And Remus!_ Remus had always been the kind, sweet, sensitive Marauder, and Sirius had really thought he'd known him so well. How could this have happened? When did Remus become such a horrible person?  
  
Something slapped Sirius in the face. _Oh shit!_ he thought, a lump forming suddenly in the back of his throat, _Lily is the girl Rem has been in love with all this time! And I'm the one who told him to go for her! Shit, shit, shit!  
_  
Sirius stifled a groan by shoving his face in a pillow. What was he going to do?

* * *

At breakfast the next morning, Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet. He stared at his food as he ate and excused himself halfway through the meal, claiming he wanted to get to class early.  
  
"Since when does Sirius care about getting to class early?" Peter inquired, eyes narrowed.  
  
James and Remus glanced at each other. It was true. Sirius never gave a damn about getting to class on time, never mind early.  
  
In History of Magic, Sirius was even less attentive than usual. He sat with his chin in his hands through the whole class, just staring at a point on the wall several feet from Professor Binns. The ghost teacher did not notice; he rarely ever noticed anything, and just kept drawling on in his horribly boring tone. But someone else noticed.  
  
Remus gazed at the raven-haired boy in between note-taking. Once, he caught Sirius glancing at James with a pitying expression. Another time, he was looking at Remus, but looked away very quickly when they caught eyes. _What the hell is wrong with him?!_ Remus thought, _He seemed fine until this morning...  
_  
Potions was the same. And then Transfiguration. Sirius seemed to be in an unstoppable slump of inattentiveness. On the way to Charms, Lily caught Remus in the halls and whispered, "Do you think he's thinking about yesterday?"  
  
Remus was about to answer when Sirius' gaze wandered over to the two of them and stopped them both in their tracks. He'd only looked for a moment, but the sudden flash of disgust that had shown in his eyes surprised the other two. "What was that about?" Remus whispered to himself. _What if he's figured out that it's me and he decided he's freaked out after all?_ his heart suddenly pounded furiously.  
  
But after another class of watching the other boy, Remus decided that that probably wasn't it. Sirius was mostly looking at James, with that same hint of pity on his face. _Why James?_ the werewolf wondered, _Does he think that it's James who likes him? No, that makes no sense...Why would he feel bad for James for that?  
_  
That night was the full moon, and this time all four Marauders were going to be together. James and Peter followed Remus down to the Shrieking Shack as the sun started to sink into the earth. For a while, the three wondered if Sirius was even coming. He'd left early during dinner and they hadn't seen him since. But sure enough, just as Remus was about to start getting undressed, he showed up, looking somber, but forcing a bit of a smile.  
  
"Hey guys," he said. James gave him a questioning look.  
  
"Are...are you okay Siri?" Remus asked tentatively, lowering his hands from the top button of his shirt, "You've been kind of weird today." James and Peter nodded in the background.  
  
It was obvious that Sirius was struggling to keep the wavering smile on his face. "I'm fine Remus, no worries."  
  
Now Remus was sure something was wrong, since he couldn't remember the last time Sirius had called him by his proper name. But there really any wasn't time to think about it. Glancing out the window at the inevitiable nightfall, Remus motioned for the guys to turn around so he could get undressed. By the time he'd finished, a shaggy black dog, a large grey rat, and a stately brown stag stood with their backs turned to him. Even after all the confusion he'd gone through all day, wondering about Sirius, Remus couldn't help but grin. It was small and quite unorthodox, but the werewolf finally had a pack.

* * *

When Sirius awoke in the morning he found James draping a set of robes over Remus' sleeping form, and Peter standing, yawning, against the doorframe. It had been a long night of running and playing to distract the wolf from hurting itself. Sirius remembered once that the wolf had tackled him and licked his face a half a dozen times, but he hadn't quite been in the mood to play and had simply pushed him off. Was his memory playing tricks on him, or had the wolf looked rather hurt during that moment?  
  
"Morning, mate," James said through a yawn, "This place isn't the most comfortable to sleep in, is it?" He stretched as high as he could, reaching for the ceiling, and a couple of joints popped.  
  
Sirius forced another smile. "No, it really isn't."  
  
James motioned towards Remus. "Think he'll sleep much longer? I'd really like to go to bed for a while before class."  
  
Sirius glanced at the sleeping werewolf and saw his opportunity. "You know what? You two go, get some more sleep. I'll wait here until he wakes up."  
  
James raised an eyebrow. Sirius was usually the one of the Marauders who couldn't get enough sleep, and James would have thought he'd be practically running back to the dorms by now. But his own body's desire for sleep outweighed his curiosity, so he shrugged and said, "Yeah, sure."  
  
Peter yawned again, tears springing to his eyes, and followed James downstairs and through the trapdoor.  
  
Remus stirred mere moments after they'd left. As he opened his gorgeous amber eyes, Sirius couldn't help but stare a little. _He's so good-looking. He could have any girl if he really wanted her. Why did he have to go for Lily?  
_  
"Mornin' Moony," he said out loud.  
  
Remus yawned and smiled. "Morning Padfoot," he replied, "Where did the other two go?"  
  
"They were really tired," Sirius explained, "Sleeping on a hard, flat floor and all. I told them to go on back to bed."  
  
"Oh." Remus turned his back, with his robes wrapped tightly around him, and went to the closet to get the rest of his clothes. Sirius stared at the wall while he changed. "Okay, lets go then."  
  
Sirius looked up. "Won't Madam Pomphry be coming?"  
  
Remus shook his head. "She said that after last month I must be doing something right, so to just go to the hospital wing if I need her."  
  
Sirius nodded. "All right, let's go then."  
  
The two walked in silence through the Shrieking Shack, through the hidden tunnel, and halfway across the school grounds before Sirius drummed up the courage to speak. _You've got to say it. You've got to tell him. You can't let this keep going on. What if James were to find out?  
_  
"Remus, I know what's going on."  
  
Remus stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes went wide and he opened his mouth, but no words came out.  
  
"I want you to please stop."  
  
Remus stared into nothing for a few moments and then turned to Sirius with a mixture of confusion and extreme hurt on his face. "What?"  
  
Sirius stood his ground, stared towards the castle, and took a deep breath. "I want you to stop this. It's not right."  
  
Remus looked like he'd been slapped in the face and he was about to throw up. "But Siri, I...I mean, can't you understand....I can't....you can't just _stop_ loving someone!" His eyes were welling up and his voice was cracking as though he might burst into hysterical sobs any minute now.  
  
"You'll have to Remus," Sirius used his friend's proper name again, trying desperately to steady his voice so that Remus would know he was dead serious about this, "You'll just...you'll just have to."  
  
Sirius wasn't looking, but he knew that the tears had begun to stream down Remus' face.  
  
"Why..." Remus' voice shook, "I thought...I thought if anything, you'd understand...if anything..."  
  
_Understand?!  
_  
"Understand?!" now Sirius whirled to face Remus, anger flashing in his eyes, "You thought I'd _understand_?! What is _wrong_ with you Remus?! Don't you realize how horribly _wrong_ this is?!"  
  
Remus' face went chalk white and shocked, and Sirius couldn't help but feel a little bad for yelling. In the past six years, he'd never yelled at Remus, never once got mad at him for anything. But if there was any good reason to get this angry with his friend, it was his betrayal of their other friend. And so Sirius stood and glared and watched Remus cower.  
  
"I hate you..." Remus' words were barely audible, but the absolute misery in his eyes was quite clear through the tears.  
  
Sirius blinked and for a moment he felt as though he'd been punched in the stomach. "W-what?"  
  
"I hate you, Sirius Black..." Remus' shoulders shook and tears fell from his face as he stared intently at the ground, his fists clenched, "I HATE YOU!"  
  
Sirius didn't even realize what had happened. Either Remus had shoved him very hard, or else had let off a great burst of magical energy that sent him flying. All Sirius knew was that he suddenly found himself on the ground, a great ache in his chest and head, and when he looked up, Remus was gone.

* * *

He ran, and he ran, and even when his legs felt like they couldn't possibly move another inch, he ran some more. He ran until he reached an area of the Forbidden Forest so thick that the sunlight didn't penetrate. He ran until all the world seemed to close in around him and he collapsed in a pile of roots and leaves, sobbing and shaking as though reality itself had abandoned him. And he screamed. He screamed into the trees until his voice gave out and no noise would emit from him anymore.  
  
How could this have happened? In all these years, Remus had never truly expected Sirius to return his love, but especially after James' speech, he couldn't help but believe that his best friend would, at the very least, accept him. Sirius had always been so kind to him. He had always taken care of him, helped him, understood him. Remus had no family, no past, no memories from before he became a werewolf. But he'd had Sirius. He'd had someone to love, and someone who, if not in exactly the same way, had loved him back.  
  
_He was so angry. He was disgusted with me. He thinks I'm wrong. He thinks I'm a freak. It was all an act with Lily. He just wanted to know what guy liked him so that he could turn him down in person. He just wanted the chance to tell the gay bastard that loves him that he's 'wrong'. I hate him. I hate him so much.  
_  
But it was a lie. The truth was that Remus loved Sirius more than anything. And it was rather evident from the reaction that he was having to Sirius' angry words.  
  
Remus could never imagine anything more painful than his transformations. But now he'd found something. He felt as though his heart had been ripped to pieces, bit by bit while he was forced to watch. He felt as though his very essence, his thoughts and emotions, were bleeding from him as he lay there, motionless on the cold ground. He felt as though the great dark void would engulf him and drown him in his own misery. He felt that he would rather transform a hundred times, every night, for the rest of his life than have to deal with this indescribable pain, right here, right now.  
  
He felt...that he wanted to die.  
  
So he lay there, on the hard ground, deep in the Forbidden Forest, sobbing and shaking, waiting for a dark creature to come kill him, or else death by time to take him.

* * *

Sirius didn't know what to do. He hadn't thought that Remus would take it this bad. He flopped on his bed. James and Peter snored around him.  
  
I hate you.  
  
The words rang through his head, piercing his heart. Remus...hate him? Sirius buried his head under a pillow. _I did the right thing. I couldn't let him just keep snogging Lily behind James' back. I suppose I could have just gone and yelled at Lily...but, no! I did the right thing dammit!_  
  
So then why did he feel so horrible? He moaned to himself. Maybe he shouldn't have yelled? No, Remus had seemed extremely hurt even before that. Maybe there was some way he could have said it more gently...  
  
Any way he looked at it, it all boiled down to three words. I. Hate. You.  
  
_He can't hate me...He just can't! I need him. I care about him too much. James may be my best mate, but Remus is something else...Something somehow closer...I need him._  
  
Somebody yawned. Sirius turned around in his bed, removing the pillow from atop his head, and found James looking back at him from his own bed.  
  
"Hey," James said, and began to close his eyes again, but suddenly they shot open. His gaze was directed at Remus' bed. "Where's Moony?"  
  
Sirius bit his lip. "We, uh, got into a bit of a fight," he said quietly, "He ran off on me."  
  
James' eyes opened wide, and then reduced a bit, a funny look coming over his face. He propped himself up in his bed. "Was the fight...was it about his, uh, crush?"  
  
Sirius' eyebrows rose practically off of his head.  
  
"Yeah, I thought so," James cringed, "But why would you fight with him about that, Padfoot? Geez, I thought you'd have been a little more sensitive."  
  
Sirius' head started to pound. "Wait a minute," he said, leaning up on one elbow and placed his other hand up to his forehead, "Just hold on now.....you _knew_ about this?"  
  
James looked a little sheepish. "Well, yeah, he told me a while ago."  
  
Sirius' mouth dropped open. "And you're _okay with it?!_"  
  
James looked taken aback, and then after a few moments, rather pissed off. "Why wouldn't I be?" he growled back, "I'm not a closed-minded bastard, Sirius. And I didn't think you would be either."  
  
_He's mental!_ Sirius opened his mouth to tell James this, but the bespectacled boy continued, his eyes narrowed and his voice venomous.  
  
"I would have thought you'd be more accepting, Sirius Black. You accepted his lycanthropy, but you can't handle this? I mean it's not as though Remus can _help_ it if he's gay! It's not as though he can _force_ himself to not love you!"  
  
The room went disturbingly silent. The only sound was Peter's occasional snore.  
  
Eventually...  
  
"What?!" Sirius shrieked, his mind finally snapping.  
  
Peter yelped and fell off his bed at the sudden outburst. "What the hell is going on?! I'm trying to sleep here! You've given me a heart attack!" he yelled, but no one was listening to him.  
  
James was staring at the look of bewilderment on Sirius' face. "You..." he started, "You didn't know? We...uh oh. We weren't talking about the same thing, were we?"  
  
It took Sirius a few minutes to gather his thoughts enough to manage speech. "Obviously not, since I was talking about Remus snogging Lily."  
  
James looked very startled for a moment, and then he burst into hysterics. "Were you even listening when I just said that Rem is gay?" he cried.  
  
Poor Peter looked unbelievably confused.  
  
Sirius blinked a few times. "B-but, the perfume! You and Remus both had Lily's perfume all over you! Why would Remus have Lily's perfume on him if he wasn't doing the same things with her that you're doing with her?"  
  
James rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Siri, you're a moron," he groaned, "We haven't been moving _that_ fast! That was never Lily's perfume to begin with. Rem sprayed it on the two of us to hide our scent from you so that we could spy on your meeting with Lily."  
  
"But...but why would you want to spy on that meeting?" Sirius inquired, his head throbbing as he absorbed the concept that he'd been so very, very wrong.  
  
James shook his head. "Duh, Sirius, I believe I just said it recently; because Rem is the mysterious guy who's in love with you."  
  
It all clicked into place.  
  
"So the 'girl' that he's been pining for all this time...?"  
  
James nodded. "That would be you."  
  
Once it was said out loud, Sirius instantly realized that it was true. All the blushing and lovey-dovey nervousness...Remus had always been like that while they were together, when there weren't even any girls anywhere nearby. He hadn't wanted Sirius to see him naked, despite their being friends for so long, because he was embarrassed for his crush to see his body. And the wolf...the wolf tackled him and licked him and forgot it's usual viciousness the moment he saw Padfoot. Sirius' mouth hung open as he went through everything in his mind, and then suddenly a flashback slapped him across the face:  
  
_'What is wrong with you Remus?! Don't you realize how horribly wrong this is?!'   
'I HATE YOU!'  
_  
Sirius' heart clenched. "Oh shit."  
  
And before James or Peter could say anything else, Sirius dashed out of the dorm room as fast as he could.

* * *

J Boogie: Hah! Joke's on you! I'm going to hell _anyway_! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!! Heh..don't worry, I'm not about to quit any time soon. 

Please enter your name: #lol# Yes, that was certainly quite spontanious. I promise I wasn't trying to make an excuse for not writing. I just honestly didn't like the last chapter for some reason. : If artists can be self-hating, why can't I? #lol#

SP-in-Sirius-Denial: Yeah, I really picture Sirius as being overly-cocky about his good looks and what-not. I plan on writing a non-slash story (eventually) that covers this aspect over him quite nicely. #evil# And of course Sirius cares what Remus thinks! That's why they're best mates! (Emphasis on the word 'mate'. XD)

Rhiannan Star: Yeah, it kinda drives me how in a lot of slash stories, one confesses to the other and then they're just automatically in bed doing ungodly things to each other. Sorry everyone, friendships don't turn into porno that quickly. . . Anywho, thanks for the kind words.

mandy and Bibilein: Yeah, several people have pointed that out to me since the first person mentioned it, and I am rather sorry and annoyed with myself, believe me. Misattention to details really burns me up, but I'll say again that I was honestly 100% sure that it happened in seventh year. Apparently my memory isn't what it used to be. ;;;

LythTaeraneth: Naw, you ruined it. #lol# As you can see, Sirius _did _indeed notice the new scent, although he wasn't about to mention it to Remus right away. I needed a reason for Sirius to get mad at Remus, because the story was lacking in angst.   
I totally agree with you and Lily. Guys shouldn't be allowed to be totally gay. They should all be bi. XD  
Oh, and sorry hon, but you can't have Sirius. He's mine. #grabs him and runs off to shag#

venilia: Mmm...chocolate-covered Sirius... OO #drool#

Legola lu, the Pumpkin Queen, Falling Night, DemonButtercup, kyprioth, Legolas19, ¤padfootlover¤ : Glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for reviewing!


	6. Chapter Six: Tears From the Sky

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, any of the characters or settings, or anything else that you may recognize from the books. If I did, I wouldn't be posting fanfictions, duh.

Rating: It's PG for now, but I'll warn you in advance that things will become closer to NC17 within a few chapters. I promise it'll be a lot more tasteful than what some people post, but if that still bothers you, please don't read. This fanfic contains SLASH. Warning warning warning.

Author's Notes: I can't believe I wrote two chapters in one day. ;; I am _definetly_ going to fail my exam tomorrow. XD You people are just too insistant! I got, like, twenty reviews in a couple of hours, almost all of them begging me to write the next chapter because of the cliffhanger. I feel so loved! #cries a little# You'd all better pray for me to pass my exams after what I've done for you!

PS. Sorry, but no replies to reviews today. I was literally responding to the LAST one when my browser went inexplicably haywire and all my comments got deleted. Owing to the fact that I didn't study for about two and a half hours in order to write this chapter, I really don't have the time to go back and re-reply. I'll try to do it for the next chapter, if there aren't too many to reply to by then. Gomen nasi! Enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter Six – Tears From the Sky  
**  
"Remus! Remus!!" Sirius cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed as loud as he could as he ran across the Hogwarts grounds. A few Ravenclaws yelled and threw things at him from high up in their tower; it was, after all, rather early in the morning.  
  
_Where could he have gotten to? Oh Merlin, I'm such an idiot! How could I ever have thought that Remus would so something like that? He's sweet and kind and he would never betray a friend that way!  
_  
Sirius ran until he found himself back at the spot they'd been before Remus had taken off. He dropped to his hands and knees, ignoring the stains he obtained as he skidded on the grassy, dirty ground, and started frantically sniffing at the area. If anyone were watching he must have looked incredibly absurd. But he wasn't thinking about that right now. He had to find Remus...he had to explain that he hadn't meant it the way he'd said it. He had to tell him...  
  
_There! That's Remus' scent! That's –  
_  
"Oh fuck," Sirius spoke out loud. Remus' scent headed off towards the Forbidden Forest. Sirius narrowed his eyes and glanced at the castle once before running off as fast as he could into the looming darkness of the forest. _Can't risk the time I'd waste going for help..._ "Oh Rem...Merlin help whatever creature tries to hurt you before I get there..."

* * *

Time seemed to have stopped. Remus felt like he'd been lying on the cold ground forever, but the last consciously sane section of his mind insisted that it hadn't been long at all. It was still morning. Although the thick trees blocked out anything that could be perceived as sunlight, the forest wasn't completely dark. Some sort of light was seeping in from somewhere, casting eerie shadows all around him.  
  
It was the pain that made time move so slowly, he decided. Time hated him and so it wanted him to feel the pain as long as possible. The world hated him. It would keep him alive here in this forest until the end of time, watching his pain and laughing at him. It wouldn't just let him die. That would be too easy.  
  
He screamed again. His voice was hoarse and broken, but he screamed just the same, a strangled noise that echoed through the dark. He pulled his legs up against his chest and sobbed again, though his tears had long since run dry. He felt, if he could just cry enough, maybe he would cry the pain out of him. Maybe the forest would absorb all the horrible, wretched feelings and leave him clean and ignorant again. Or maybe his cries would be heard by some horrible, toothy creature out looking for a meal. Maybe something would come and rip him to shreds so that his skin seeped with the same sort of pain that flowed so freely from his heart.  
  
A twig snapped. The sane section of Remus' mind forced him to open his eyes. He was neither expecting nor was he surprised by what he saw. A furry snout and a pair of deep silver eyes stared back at him. He lifted his head from the ground, twigs and leaves tangled in his sandy hair, and found that an entire pack of about twelve wolves was surrounding him, looking on in curiosity. He felt neither fear nor joy by their sudden arrival. He felt only their presence.  
  
The wolf closest to him licked his face, snatching away the few wet tears that lay on his cheek. Remus felt a soft voice in his head.  
  
_"What do you mean by traveling this deep into the forest, young pup?"  
_  
"I've come here to die." Remus replied, matter-of-factly, with no real tone or emotion to his voice.  
  
_"And why would you wish to die out here alone, pup?"  
_  
"I wish for the pain to stop."  
  
Another wolf, a larger one that must have been a male, stepped closer and gazed deep into Remus' amber eyes.  
  
_"We know of you. We are the Great Wolves of the forest, and we know of your tale. We know that you are a werebeast, and that you become of our species under the veil of the full moon. However, you are unlike the other werebeasts of the forest, who hunt and kill with the viciousness of men. Beasts should kill only for food, and this restraint we have heard tell of in you. We, therefore, accept you as our own pup. We will protect you. Tell us what has caused you such pain and we will make it stop."_

* * *

Sirius had barely been running for a handful of minutes when an ear- splitting boom rattled the sky. Skidding to a halt, he glared up through the slight openings in the trees. Very little sunlight could be seen, for dark clouds had rolled in over the grounds.  
  
"No, no, no, no, please no," Sirius murmured to himself, "Not now, dammit!"  
  
A bright flash of light, and another great bang, and buckets of water came pouring down suddenly, soaking the entire world in mere moments. Sirius' hair clung to his head and his robes weighed him down. The rain itself seemed to block his vision, creating a thick, wet haze which worked with the dark to bar his path.  
  
"No!" Sirius cried. He sniffed, and sniffed again, and he could barely pick up Remus' scent. "FUCK!" He broke out into another furious run, transforming into Padfoot in mid stride, hoping that his sense of smell would be stronger in dog form._ I have to find him soon! Dammit, dammit, why did it have to rain?! I have to find him before his scent washes away completely!_ _

* * *

_  
  
Remus barely felt the rain pouring down his back. The pack gathered around him as though trying to shield him from the world, seemingly oblivious to the torrents of water that fell down on top of them. He felt that he didn't care what they did, but if they could, in fact, make the pain go away he would be eternally indebted to them. Perhaps he would stay with them and become part of their pack.  
  
Something flashed in the back of his mind. _But you already have a pack, now, remember? The others, your friends. You have them as a pack. You have James, and Peter, and Siri-_  
  
"No!" Remus cried, clutching his head, digging his nails into his wet skin until he felt blood escape, "No, get out of my head! I don't want you in my head anymore! I hate you! I HATE YOU!"  
  
The wolves looked at him in concern that resembled that of a loving family.  
  
_"It is okay little brother. We will not let him hurt you anymore."_ _

* * *

_  
  
"I HATE YOU!"  
  
Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, his fur getting more and more soaked but the second. Had he been thinking that, or had he actually heard it? He sniffed as hard as he could. The scent had all but disappeared. _That had to be him...Unless I've gone completely insane...  
_  
He ran full out towards the scream.

* * *

Remus had begun to sob again, but his tears were now indistinguishable from the rain. On either side of him a wolf nuzzled his face, whimpering almost as if they could feel his pain.  
  
_"Poor little pup. Do not cry. All will be rectified."_  
  
He remembered, just a month ago, when he had been screaming during his transformation, Sirius had whimpered in concern for his pain as well. "Why?!" Remus screamed, "Why will you not get out of my head?!"  
  
Several of the wolves growled suddenly, deep and loud. One of them barked viciously. Though he felt he really rather didn't care what was happening, Remus forced himself to open his eyes and look.  
  
A large, shaggy black dog stood a few meters away, soaked through to the bone and crying in the back of it's throat.  
  
"Sirius?"  
  
_"This is the one, is it not?"  
_  
_"Pup, is this the beast who has hurt you so? Is this the one who refused to be your mate and questioned your heart?"_  
  
Remus hadn't expected this, and he found suddenly that he did not know what to do. His mind was being pulled in drastically different directions.  
  
_Why did he come here?  
_  
_Who cares? Set the pack on him, make him hurt! Make him bleed, and feel pain, and want to die, as you have!  
  
But why would he come so far into the forest if not to find me?  
  
He only wants to hurt you more! He wants to watch you suffer and deepen your misery! Make him pay!  
  
I can't...He's...he's still my friend.  
_  
_Lies! He has betrayed your emotions and spit on your very essence! HURT HIM!  
  
But...I still love him.  
  
FOOL!  
_  
Remus didn't have time to decide what he wanted. The look on his face was clarification enough for the wolves. The female that had licked his face and the first male that had spoken to him stayed rooted at his sides, growling in a very feral manner, while the rest of the pack attacked. Sirius yelped and took off as fast as he could, the wolves close behind, snapping at his heels. Remus watched in a sort of emotionless daze, as the canines ran in great circles nearby. They circled Sirius, but he managed to get out past one of the smaller wolves. They attacked from both sides, but he leapt out of the way of their snaps. All the while he was getting more and more tired. He'd been running for so long... But, despite the impending doom that was bearing down upon him, Sirius seemed highly unwilling to stray too far away from Remus, and this prodded the werewolf's mind.  
  
_He still cares. He's got too, or else why wouldn't he run far away?  
  
Fool, he told you that you're 'wrong'! He hates you! He doesn't accept or want your love! He thinks you're a freak, an abnormality! He has caused you pain the likes of which you have never felt before! Let him feel it back!  
  
Then why doesn't he leave?! Why doesn't he run from the pack?!  
  
It doesn't matter! Let him suffer! Let him die!  
_  
Remus watched as Sirius made a running leap at a tree, twisting and kicking off in hopes of propelling himself over the group of wolves at his heels.  
  
A flash of lightning broke through the canopy of the trees.  
  
Sirius yelped. Remus stood.  
  
"NO!"  
  
Remus ran to the spot where Sirius fell. He pushed through the wolves, who looked at him in confusion and concern, knocking one back before it could leap at Sirius' throat.  
  
"Why do you stop us, pup? Do you not want us to stop your pain?"  
  
"Killing him won't stop my pain," Remus said quietly, tears falling freely from his face, "I can't let you kill him. I won't be a witness to murder. Especially not the murder of someone I love." His voice cracked on the word and he hated himself for saying it. He placed a hand on Sirius' leg, which was now bleeding profusely, and struggled against his angry side not to squeeze it in vengeance. "Why did you come here?" he demanded.  
  
The dog whimpered. Remus blinked against the rain falling in his eyes, and when he focused again it was a human Sirius lying before him, his black hair soaked and disheveled. His right pant leg was ripped and blood was flowing out of it. His eyes were glassy and they stared straight into Remus' in a way they never had before.  
  
"I had to tell you..." Sirius spoke slowly and cringed as the rain beat down on his leg, "I had to tell you that I didn't mean it."  
  
The furious persona rose up again. Remus grabbed the collar of Sirius' shirt and hauled his head up off the ground, so that his glaring eyes were only inches away from the other's. "You didn't _mean it_?!" he sneered, in a vicious way that Sirius had never seen in his friend, "You didn't _MEAN IT_?! Then why the fuck did you _say it, SIRIUS_?! Just wanted to see my _REACTION_, did you?!" Several of the wolves growled their agreement.  
  
Sirius' eyes went wide and unblinking, despite the rain pouring into them. "I-it was all a m-misunderstanding, Moony," he stuttered, pure terror in his voice, "I s-swear! It's not what you think!"  
  
Remus dropped Sirius' head, which connected painfully with the ground. "_Don't_ call me Moony..." The anger had subsided and the misery took over again. He fell forward, bracing himself up with his hands, and began to crawl away through the mud, sobbing openly.  
  
Sirius struggled to his knees, ignoring the searing pain in his leg, and started to follow. The wolves growled and one of them snapped at his hand, but they didn't attack again.  
  
"Rem," Sirius' voice was pleading, "Please, I didn't mean to hurt you so much. You don't understand, it turns out we weren't talking about the same thing."  
  
The angry persona wanted to haul back and slap Sirius across the face for continuing to speak. The miserable persona wanted to collapse onto the muddy ground and cry for the rest of eternity. But that tiny spark of sanity spoke up instead. He turned his head to look at the other boy.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
A flash of lighting illuminated Sirius' face. He was crying too.  
  
"I thought..." he forced out, "I thought you were sneaking off with Lily. I thought she was using you to cheat on James."  
  
Even the pack seemed to take this information in. Remus blinked and his head pounded. "W-what?"  
  
Sirius crawled forward a few more feet, a hopeful look on his face. "All that stuff I said, when I got mad," he explained quickly, "That was all because I thought you'd betrayed James! But he explained to me...what has really been going on..."  
  
Remus' eyes went unfocused as he seemingly stared at a point on Sirius' chest, his mouth slightly open.  
  
"Remy," Sirius said quietly, pulling himself forward and wincing again at the pain, "Remy, I'm so sorry." He crawled right up next to his friend, until they were kneeling face-to-face. "I'm so sorry you thought..."  
  
Remus was shaking. New tears filled his wide eyes, though for a different reason this time. "I-I almost let them kill you!" he cried in horror, "I almost let them kill you!" The pack whimpered.  
  
Sirius half-smiled, then sobbed once, then grabbed Remus in the tightest embrace he could muster. Remus shook under the force of his own sobs, and he clutched Sirius' wet robes as though he thought the other boy might run away at any moment. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, until Sirius took Remus' shoulders and pulled him away to look at him. Remus' bottom lip was quivering.  
  
"I wanted to tell you something else, too, when I found you," Sirius said, with a shaky smile. He looked deep into those gorgeous amber eyes that he'd so absentmindedly admired on so many occasions. "Rem, there's only one guy I'd question my sexuality for."  
  
With that he pulled Remus forward and their lips met for the first time. Both boys were soaking wet and shaking to death from the cold, but for that moment they both felt quite warm. The rain dripped down around their lips and into their mouths as they moved slowly, tasting one another. Sirius reached up and gently stroked Remus' cheek with his thumb, while wrapping his fingers around the boy's slender neck. He pulled away slowly so that their lips brushed faintly together for a few seconds before they'd parted completely. Remus opened his eyes and took a sudden deep breath, not smiling, but looking happier than he'd ever looked in his life.  
  
One of the wolves howled into the night as the rain continued to pour down around them.  
  
"I love you, Remus Lupin."

* * *


	7. Note to Fans

Greetings

Greetings!

First, I know this is technically against the rules, so I will kindly ask the viewers to ignore that fact and not have this account banned on me. I am simply leaving a message for fans of my stories, the only way I really know how (without sending a separate message to each of the 200+ of you).

Second, this is a message to do two things:

I want to apologize for stating that I was going to rewrite Cry of the Wolf and then…not…doing it. ahem

I want to let you all know that I have, for various reasons, created a new FanFiction account under the pen name Toreshi Tobin. I am currently posting the new version of Cry of the Wolf there, as well as any future stories (plans on a Final Fantasy fic…) so if you'd like to read, please head over there. The new version of Cry of the Wolf isn't incredibly different, but I've been fixing up mistakes, grammatical errors, and things that I just plain didn't like, and I feel it's gotten better already. I may or may not be adding a new chapter or epilogue…I'm not sure yet.

So anyway, thank you all for your support and comments in the past; I hope you'll follow me over to my new account! For some reason searching for my pen name doesn't work, so search for story and put "Cry of the Wolf" just like that with the quotations. It's a couple down the list...the one with author Toreshi Tobin.

Love and kisses,

-Okaishi / Toreshi Tobin / Tracey


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